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Tips for parents: Communicate. One of the most important things
that parents can do is encourage their sons and daughters to think through
the basic questions. Why do you want to go to college? What are your
most important needs and goals? What kind of college will best serve
them? Communicating with an adolescent is not always easy, but look
for the moments that present themselves. Being available to talk when
your child has a question or wants to express an idea or feeling is
one of the most important things you can do. Set
financial parameters. Paying for college is an area where parents have veto power. Try to reach
an understanding early in the process as to how much each party is expected
to pay (before hopes get pinned on a college that may be financially
out of reach). Sit down with your child to formulate guidelines for
the search. Be
realistic.
Don't set your child up for failure by encouraging unrealistic applications.
Look honestly at your child's academic record. then study the admissions
profiles of the colleges that show up on your lists. If he or she is
not Stanford material, don't swing by Palo Alto on your college tour.
Make it your task to be sure that your son or daughter applies to at
least two colleges where he or she will definitely be accepted. Then
even the worst-case scenario will still result in a productive college
experience. Think
broadly.
The United States has the best and most diverse system of higher education
anywhere in the world. There are scores of colleges that would be a
good match for every student. You are probably in a better position
than your son or daughter to understand this and help discourage fixation
on a single 'dream' school (that may be highly selective). Some of the
best colleges for your child may be ones that neither of you have ever
heard of. Let
the student take center stage. In the college search, nothing is worse than a parent
who steals the spotlight. Many parents, especially successful ones,
are accustomed to manipulating the system to make it work for them.
Resist the temptation. The admissions process is the time for teenagers
to stand on their own. Parental attempts at 'marketing' or influence
peddling often do more harm than good. Don't
live vicariously. Many parents subconsciously relive their own hopes and dreams through
their children. Some want children to follow in their footsteps, others
want them to achieve things that they themselves never could. Still
other parents see college admissions as their shot at an A+ in parenting.
Having hopes for your children is natural, but try to spare them the
burden of expectations. One of the greatest gifts you can give your
child is the freedom to follow his or her own dreams. Be
supportive.
As the process unfolds, remind your children that they will be accepted
at a good school--one where they will make friends, have fun, be challenged,
and get the education they deserve. When the decisions come in, redouble
your efforts on this score, and if necessary, remind them of the fickle
nature of the whole selection process.
Taken from the usnews webpage-Fiske tip Kami
Amestoy Lee |
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