Peace Table Procedures

· Agree to resolve the conflict

· No name calling

· Take turns talking, using “I” statements.

· Be clear and truthful about what is bothering you and what you really need.

· Listen to the other person. Don’t interrupt.

· Use your brain, not your hands.

· Be willing to compromise.

Steps to Resolving Conflicts:

1. STOP! Don’t let the conflict get worse.

2. SAY what the conflict is about.

3. THINK of the positive options. How can you meet each other’s needs and be fair?

4. CHOOSE a positive option each of you can agree on.

WEB LINKS FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION:

http://www.goodcharacter.com/YCC/ResolvingConflicts.html

http://www.learningpeace.com/pages/LP_04.htm

http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/teens/conflict.asp#res

Seven Norms of Collaboration

From the book: “The Mentoring Year” by Susan Udelhofen and Kathy Larson.

These norms are used when mentoring teachers, however I feel they are excellent lifelong skills when communicating with or working in a group.

1. Pause: It takes from three to five seconds for most people to process high level thoughts; therefore, pausing is essential for critical thinking. Here are some examples:

· The speaker allows time for thought after a question or a response

· Respondents pause before responding to a question or comment

· Individuals take time to allow ideas and questions to settle in and to reflect on what they have heard.

2. Paraphrase: A well-crafted paraphrase sends the message, “I am trying to understand you-and, therefore, I value what you have to say.” To paraphrase effectively, listen carefully and observe both the content and emotions of the speaker. Signal your intention to paraphrase by using a reflective stem. Some examples of reflect stems:

· You’re suggesting…

· You’re proposing…

· So, you are thinking that…

· So, what you’re wondering is…

· You’re pondering the effects of…

· Your hunch is that…

3. Probe for specificity: To identify generalizations, deletions, and distortions, gently probe for specificity when you hear:

· Vague nouns and pronouns such as “they.”

· Subjective words such as “improve”, “unmotivated”, “disrupting”, or “hyperactive.”

· Comparators such as “best”, “slower”, etc. Ask for the criteria used to make the comparison.

· Rule words: “You shouldn’t”, “We have to”. Probe for the rules behind such statements; ask, “Where is it written?”

4. Put ideas on the table: Groups work productively when their members put forward ideas that are supported by data, both qualitative and quantitative. Observations about student learning, school climate, teacher satisfaction, parental attitudes, and the like, are important ideas for mentors, mentees, and colleagues to discuss. While an idea might start as a hunch or intuition, you should seek to support your ideas with evidence. If your ideas change or are influenced by the ideas and data of others, state how you modified your original idea and why.

5. Pay attention to yourself and others: Ideas don’t exchange themselves. They are shared by people, each with his, or her, own goals, moods, and styles of learning and self-expression. Pay careful attention to how your own ideas and emotions, as well of those around you, are affecting the dialogue.

6. Presume positive intentions: Honest conversation requires that participants believe in each other’s positive intentions. When you presume that colleagues/friends share your goals for learning and professional growth, are less likely to interpret their comments as threats or challenges.

7. Pursue a balance between advocacy and inquiry: Strive to spend as much time and energy inquiring into the ideas of others as you do in advocating for your own ideas.